Thursday, December 3, 2009

Is this the end of Will And Terri?

I really felt sorry for Terri, I mean I really felt sorry for her. All this time she felt that lying to her husband was the best way to keep their relationship strong.

We have all seen this type of relationship. The fact that Terri pointed out that Will was a better husband when he felt sorry for himself, was bad enough. What relationship you know survived after a lie, blown out of proportion, was revealed?

We knew the moment would come for Will to stumble upon Terri's lie, I mean really how long could she have kept it up. There could have been times where he could turn around and surprise her with her belly rub. Even though she became extremely alert in bed, there would be that time for the coin to drop and the two faces revealed, but I really did not expect it. While Will went scouting for his pocket square, I knew the moment had arrived for him to connect the dots. I seriously thought he was going to hit her there!

Even though everything she went through to cover it up, was manipulative and conceited, I still felt remorse. The fact she believed that a lie could help their marriage was beyond saddening. I mean really, I understand her. I don't think Will should have suffered through the false believe of being a father, but I also didn't appreciate his love affair with Emma when he believed he was going to be a father.

Even when Terri was believed to be pregnant, he held on to his misguided feelings for Emma, so imagine if Terri broke the news then, to go and ask Emma what was to be his next move. I mean a marriage is supposed to mean something, and even Emma told Terri to back off when she thought Terri was getting in the way. The irony.

The moment he realized the pregnancy was fake was the biggest moment for me. He said he loved her, but I really couldn't believe him, especially since he couldn't stand spending time with her at school as well as home because 'they would have nothing to talk about at home'. Their marriage was really 'messed up' from the start.

Terri: "Do you remember that appointment, do you remember what was said? That at that moment, no matter what happened, we loved each other"

After hearing those words and finding out she wasn't pregnant, in Terri's crazy state, I could imagine why she would feel the need to lie. It didn't all start out as a lie.

Their relationship was torn, the typical pregnancy to keep the marriage going has been misused and often times fell through the cracks. Things are often more successful when a baby is actually involved. She probably already lost him, so what exactly did she have to hold on to.

I hold my opinion, I do feel sorry for her, no one would ever want to be in that situation, especially when a simple human error was made and having a sister that condones it doesn't really help. I could tell she did care about him, but after he turned his back to her, I really do not know if there's any coming back from that.



Redux said...

"but I also didn't appreciate his love affair with Emma when he believed he was going to be a father"

I don't know if that's fair. Yes, he did start catching feelings in his relationship with Emma, but it never progressed physically. You can't start counting against people for what they think and feel until that becomes action. It just doesn't hold the same weight. There is still room to turn back and make moves to fix it.

"He said he loved her, but I really couldn't believe him, especially since he couldn't stand spending time with her at school as well as home because 'they would have nothing to talk about at home'. Their marriage was really 'messed up' from the start."

People need a break from each other. I only have a handful of friends who can spend that much time together without going crazy, and none of them are of any interest once they start spending that much time together. They become one person. One insanely boring, lazy person who never wants or can't do anything without the other.

Terri broke my heart in this episode. And it was incredible to see all that anger on Will's face turn into pain. As far as laying blame on the situation, I'm probably the only one of my friends who thinks that its more 50/50 than all Terri's fault.

I mean, she did lie about having a baby for over 5 months, but that should have come to ahead a long time ago. And maybe it would have if he didn't spend so much time worrying about New Directions or catching feelings about Emma. The only answer I can come up with is he wasn't paying that close attention. Which is good, because if she weren't pregnant, I don't think she would have allowed him to do all those things. She banked on the chance that he would be distracted most of the time.

Her accusations against Will about the marriage only working because he feels bad about himself was sickening. So many feelings and opinions came to light in that argument that I still can't process it all.

Lexa Cliche said...

If we were to debate the triangle among Will, Terri and Emma, I assure you it would be a long one.

The only part of your theory I could probably consider, would be the 50/50 aspect. All the blame should not be rewarded to Terri. The very fact that Terri felt the need to parade her fake pregnancy and then suck Quinn into it, was bold enough, but the fact that Will only noticed it until then was another.

In my advice blog, I dealt solely with the topic of Emma and Will. The mere fact that Will vested himself into Emma emotionally, suggested he carried about an emotional affair. He even admitted to 'a thing' between them, he allowed himself to feel jealousy towards Ken and 'physically' emit his feelings while teaching her to dance. These are all aspects of him gearing his emotions away from his wife and straight towards Emma.

This is nothing new, we have all seen it. There would be some people that need their space, but a friendship is completely different from an actual relationship between husband and wife. It seemed as though he spent more time at school with Emma and had more to talk to her about than he would his wife, and he didn't complain then. That only reflected the disconnection between Terri and Will and actually made me understand why she would prolong the fake pregnancy at all.

I understand that through Will's depressed state, their marriage did survive and Terri figured that out, and that emphasized her damaged character. If you looked closely at her lifestyle, you would realize how damaged her background was (reference to her sister as well) and the way she viewed the world.

I really don't blame Will for walking out, what she did was heart rendering, but if he was to really be honest with himself, he would realize Terri was right. Everything she said then was correct. That was the sad, twisted, manipulative life they shared together and he only realized when he grew up, how unhappy he really was, to smart up. Being mature comes with its price, and he should have either ended his marriage or cut off any emotional connection with Emma.

Lexa Cliche said...

I posted this comment on, thought I'd share it.

Terri has given anyone real reason to despise her. She constantly uses every moment with her husband given, to talk him down a notch. She also lied to her husband for so many months and in a twisted way used and abused her marriage to her advantage. So I understand why she would be despised and torched. Still when you actually look at the character Terri covers, inside she probably even feels the very same way. She wears pride and perfection as a front, but inside she is self depreciated, tormented dipped in with hint of pathetic that she probably even recognizes herself. Her husband was probably the only one willing to stick by her and with her manipulative way of thinking, the only way she could have kept him in her life was to bring him down. Pathetic.

What could frighten a person like that more, was if their strategy of constant 'downer talk' reflected back and their husband became not only happy but began falling for someone else. In Terri's twisted mentality that would have meant the end of not only her marriage, but what ever self worth she got out of it.

This entire situation reminded me of the relationship between Frank and Denise in 'Army Wives' minus the crazy and obsessive compulsive. Denise and Frank had the presumed perfect army marriage, but the moment Denise began picking up habits outside of the normal trend to their marriage, he got scared and even acted irrational. Imagine a crazy Terri in that situation.

I'm sure if Terri did have the idea of a miscarriage she would have used it, especially if she didn't have a sibling rooting for her throughout the nine months, she could have pulled it off. Maybe Terri could have came clean. Yet the only time she saw him smile for real was when he thought he was becoming a father. In fact, maybe that's why she kept the lie going, even when she knew it was wrong. Terri is not alone though, she was right about Will's affair with Emma. All the times he spent teaching Emma dance lessons and engaging himself emotionally to fall for another woman and emit that jealousy towards a friend. Terri's crazy was out of hand, but it came from somewhere and she probably would have lost him anyway. Here we have an uproar of people rooting for Will and Emma, the other woman and Will... then there's the broken hearted Terri left standing at the door.

I think that was the first time we actually saw her cry and the only way she knew how to say she loved him. Will definitely needs to take some blame, however small the percentage.

Redux said...

I've thought about what you said and see the damage in emotional affairs, but what I keep coming back to is that the reason there was room for Will to establish such a relationship with Emma is because he couldn't do those things with his wife.

You said it yourself that the only way she could have kept him in her life was to bring him down, and she did. She was usually negative or dismissive about the things he enjoyed so I can see him being drawn to person who offered some positivity to his life.

The only possible recourse I can think of for them would be for her to learn how to give some in the relationship and for him to cut things off with Emma entirely.

For Terri, I think things weren't always this bad in their relationship. Its just, in the beginning she realized that if she added just a little extra pressure, she could make decisions swing in her favor. Fast forward 10 years later and things almost always swing in her favor so she doesn't have to try so hard to get her way. She needs to learn to build him up instead of tearing him down so that it can be a partnership in which they make each other feel good.

Will needs to work harder at establishing what he has with Emma with his wife. He should give less and they should have real arguments instead of one sided ones.

They both need to pick up habits outside of the normal trend of their marriage. Terri never seemed deeply happy or content in their marriage, and Will didn't until he thought they were having a baby.

I think Terri and Emma are a lot alike in how tragic their characters are. Emma is in love with a married man and decides to marry Ken, not because she loves him, but because its better than being alone.

Lexa Cliche said...

You have managed to bring some perspective to the Will and Terri issue. Although I believe that it is Will's responsibility as a husband to end his marriage then pursue whatever emotions he has for Emma. Not that I appreciate his relationship with Emma.

Emma herself is a bit wayward as you referred to her relationship with Ken. I believe that in her perspective, there were two men in her life willing to see pass her peculiar faults; one was available and the other was not.

I am not too keen with Emma's character. She comes off as faulted yet sweet and kind, but she fell flat when she practically told Terri to back off. Emma herself is flawed and selfish in her judgment. Unlike Terri, she is not as open about her character, she has inner 'hidden agendas' and her relationship with Ken could also be a way to bring out the jealousy in Will.

Terri can be a big headache at times, but at least we know what her intentions are. She loves her husband and is thwarted about the way she shows it. Emma is infatuated with Will and is willing to bring down another guy to facilitate it.

Another reason I felt sorry for Terri was that it facilitated Will's need to choose Emma and it also gave him an excuse to end his marriage and succumb to his unfulfilled desires. As a husband he owed it to Terri to acknowledge the real problems between them. As for Emma, being a friend takes a lot of responsibility and if she cared for Will, she would have suppressed her feelings however difficult, and now she's sucking Ken into this twisted flux of emotions. It takes a lot more strength to resist that it would to succumb.

At least divorce was not in Will's mind until Emma suggested it to him. She didn't want to be the one that encouraged him to sign the papers and preferred Will to form a relationship with her of his own free will. Understandable, but I sensed a bit of eager in her framework while his marriage was on the outs. I only hope that things sort themselves out over the next installments. I would not be interested in the Will and Emma connection as everyone is eager for. Although it might be unlikely, I would prefer Ken to wise up and leave Emma on his own.

It's really been an interesting debate. I did inform you, that it would be long.